I know that other people have impressions of me…They have beliefs about who I am…They have beliefs about what I am capable of…They have beliefs about how I act…And I also have an impression of what I think other people think about me…Based on who I am…Based on my experience…Based on her past interactions…I have written a story inside of my head about how they navigate the world…I’ve written a story inside of my head about what they think about me…It is possible that the story I have written about what they think about me has nothing to do with what they actually think about me…I’m in a situation where I respond to what I think they think…Because for me what I think they think is the reality I operate in…And my emotional response comes from this…The action I take is informed by it…This means my actions and emotions are impacted by a story written inside my head about what I’m guessing they think about me…It doesn’t matter if this is what is really going on…Because I am responding emotionally to the story that I have written…I give myself permission to let go of these stories…I give myself permission to know I don’t have to respond in this way…I give myself permission to define myself in my own terms…I give myself permission to choose who I am…Not what other people think I am…Not what I think other people think I am…But who I am…It is safe for me to be authentically me…It is safe for me to be my true self…It is safe for me to make choices and actions based on who I am…Knowing that it does not matter what I think others think about me…The reality is most people aren’t thinking of me at all…They are so wrapped up inside their own experience they are completely missing me…I am not crossing their mind…And since I’m not crossing their mind…It doesn’t matter what I think they think about me…All that matters is me being myself…It is safe for me to be myself.

Pod #376: Tapping For How We Act Based On How Others See Us

I recognize the fact that I feel like I should do this…Should is a powerful word…When I use the word should…It feels like I must…When I use the word should…It feels like I have to…When I use the word should…It feels as if I am out of control…But it makes sense that I feel like I am obliged to something that others say I should do…There is an ancient and primitive part of me that recognizes that if I was pushed outside of the tribe, I would die…Because staying connected to the community was a matter of life or death…Staying connected to the community was a necessity…And going against the grain was dangerous…Going against the grain was perilous…Therefore I have learned to do what the community wants and expects…Because at one point in history it was a matter of life and death…But that is no longer the case…And I can go my own way and survive…I can make the choices that are best for me and thrive…And because of this, the word should doesn’t have to hold so much power over me…Recognizing that can be difficult…Because most of the shoulds in our lives have been passed on by people close to us…We all want to belong and be connected…Especially to those closest to us…But I give myself permission to know that I can stay connected to my loved ones…Without having to do what they think I should be doing…I’m allowed to do what I want…I am safe choosing what I want…I can remain connected to others while choosing what I want…When anyone says I should do something…I can take that as input…I can take that as something to consider…But it is nothing more than someone else’s opinion…And I am allowed to take it for as much or as little as I want…I get to choose what is right for me…Not because of the cultural norm…Not because someone else said I should do it…But simply because I want to do it…I give myself permission to let go of the word should…There’s nothing I should do…There are only things that I choose to do…And things I choose not to do…I am responsible for those choices…I am responsible for the consequences of those choices…But they are my choices…Because I choose to do them…Not because I should do them…I give myself permission to have control over my own life and my own choices…I give myself permission to let go of should.

Pod #372: Tapping For And Responding To Feeling Like You SHOULD Do Something

I like being nice…I like the fact that I am kind…I like the fact that I think about others…I like the fact that I am helpful to others…I like the fact that I’m trying to make the world a better place…The world would be a better place if more people were kind…The world would be a better place if more people were thoughtful…But at the same time…People take advantage of me…Because I am so nice…I know I will help them…I know I will show up…And they know I will stop what I’m doing in order to help them…And because of this, people take advantage of me…Because of this, people don’t take the time to solve their own problems…It is easier for them to have me solve problems for them…And it makes me feel like I’m being taken advantage of…I don’t like being taken advantage of…I don’t like being a doormat…I don’t like being too nice…At the same time I don’t want to turn into a jerk…I don’t want to be mean…I don’t want to be thoughtless…I don’t want to be careless…I don’t want to be cold hearted…There is a middle ground where I can have boundaries and still be kind…I can put my needs first and still be thoughtful…I can maintain clear boundaries and still have rich relationships…I can be healthy and not be too nice…I can be healthy and not be a heartless jerk…There is a middle path…Where I have clear boundaries and I’m also taking care of myself…While at the same time being thoughtful and caring of others…I give myself permission to create healthy boundaries…So the people are not taking advantage of me…When I do this, I will be thoughtful…I will be deliberate…I will be kind…When I have healthy boundaries, I am healthier…And when I am healthier it is easier for me to care for others…It’s not an all-or-nothing proposition…I can have boundaries and be kind…I can be kind without being too nice.

Pod #369: EFT for Being Too Nice

This is my chance to reset…This is my chance to reground myself…In the middle of the day it is so easy to feel rushed…In the middle of the day it is so easy to feel overwhelmed…I give myself a few moments to reground myself…I give myself permission to be refocused where I am…I give myself permission to take a pause without feeling panicked or overwhelmed…I acknowledge and appreciate everything I have done so far today…Even if I didn’t get everything done that I wanted to do…Even if everything didn’t go as planned…Everything that happened this morning is behind me…And I appreciate the fact that it is done…There are some things that didn’t get done this morning…And I give myself permission to be easy with myself…They were even things that I avoided this morning…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…There are lots of things that I wish had gone better this morning…But the morning is over…I can’t change what happened…But I get a chance to start again…I get a chance to refocus…I get a chance to resettle myself…I get a chance to be in this moment…My intention is to be grounded this afternoon…My intention is to stay in flow this afternoon…My intention is to do one task at a time…Being as present as I can to the task I’m doing…And doing the best job that I can…Knowing that I’m not going to be perfect this afternoon…Knowing I might not get everything done this afternoon…Knowing that unexpected things may happen this afternoon…I give myself permission to be in the moment…If I do that I will be successful…If I do that, my afternoon will be everything it needs to be…Even if that is imperfect…I give myself permission to be me and to be fully present this afternoon.

Pod #366: Midday Tapping

I know what my interior life is like…I know the thoughts that I have…I know the feelings I have experienced…I know when I’m afraid to take action…I know when I’m insecure about what I’m doing…When I see others around me taking action…I assume they are calm…I assume they are confident…Because all that I can see is their outside…I don’t know their emotional state…I don’t know their internal dialogue…I don’t understand their true level of confidence in the moment…When I don’t understand their emotional state and I do understand my emotional state…It’s easy for me to make an unfair comparison…I assume they have everything together…And I know that I don’t know what to do…Therefore I don’t feel like I belong…I feel like I shouldn’t be respected…I feel like I have less to offer…I feel like I’m a giant fraud…And when I feel like I’m a fraud…I’m even more hesitant to take action…I’m afraid that I’m going to be found out…I’m afraid they’re going to see me for who I truly am…I believe they are going to think less of me…The truth is that I do belong…The truth is I do have much to offer…The truth is they aren’t as confident as they seem…Because they have an internal dialogue as well…They have an internal emotional state as well…When I feel like a fraud…It is because I’m making an unfair comparison…I’m comparing their external facade with my internal turmoil…That’s not fair to me…That is not a fair comparison…I give myself permission to feel present and connected…I give myself permission to know that I belong…I give myself permission to know that I have something to offer.

Pod #365: EFT for Feeling Like a Fraud

The basic fear of rejection

I recognize the fact…That there is a part of me…That is worried I will be rejected by others…They will see who I am…And decide that I am not good enough…They will see who I am…And decide that I am not worth connecting with…They will see who I am…And they will decide I am not worth their time…And that I am not worth their energy…I appreciate why this fear of rejection is so big…Because at one point in our history as a species…Being rejected meant certain death…Being rejected meant the end…Being rejected meant being pushed to the outside forever…It is true that not everyone will accept me…It is true that not everyone will understand me…It is true that not everyone will appreciate me…Just because they reject me in this way does not mean I am in danger…It does not mean I am in peril…It does not mean that I’m going to die…Instead it simply means that we are not a good fit and we are not a good connection…That is not a value judgment of who I am…That is not a value judgment on my existence…I can be in a situation where I don’t connect with everyone and still be safe…There are lots of people I do connect with…There are lots of people I do resonate with…Even if they aren’t always around me…They are there and they exist…I recognize that I am safe even when I am not accepted by all…I give myself permission to know that I am safe when I am myself.

Fear that my work will be rejected

I recognize that the work I do is not for everyone…The type of work that I do is right for me…The type of work that I do is good for me…There will be times when I have a preference for the type of work that I want to do that other people are not going to resonate with…They will have different ideas about how things should be done…They will have different ideas about the work that I should do…People can even be well-intentioned and wanting me to do something else…But that does not mean I should be doing something else…I can truly be me and still be safe…I can do the work that I’m supposed to do and be safe…I can offer the work that I want to do, have that work rejected, and still be safe…I can be in a position where I offer my work and be OK if someone turns me down…They are not rejecting me as a person…They’re simply saying the work I do isn’t the right fit for them…I give myself permission to do the work that I want to do…Knowing that I will find the right people to connect with…The people who were right for me…When someone says no to my work I am still safe…When someone says no to my work I am not in trouble…It is simply a statement of best fit…I give myself permission to keep working in the way that I work…Because I know I can find the right connections…I know I can serve the right people…I can be safe even in the face of someone rejecting my work…I can be happy in the face of someone rejecting my work…I can be healthy in the face of someone rejecting my work.

Fear that people will reject my offer

I believe in the work that I do…And I believe in the way that I do that work…It is the right way for me to work…It is the best way for me to use my gifts and talents…I enjoy the work that I do…This does not mean the way I work is the right fit for everyone…Or the way I work is good for everyone…Or that everyone will be open to my work…That is OK…The way I work doesn’t have to resonate with everyone…There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to doing this kind of work…And because that is the case…People will say no to me…When they say no to me they aren’t saying I am bad…They aren’t saying my work is useless…They aren’t saying I’m doing this wrong…They are simply saying this is not a good fit for them…I give myself permission to be OK with that fact…It’s not always going to be the right fit…When someone says no they are making a statement about best fit…Someone can say no to how I work and I will still be safe…Someone can say no to how I work and I can still be healthy…Someone can say no to how I work and I can still move through the world in a way where I’m connecting with those I am supposed to connect to…It is safe for me to work in the way that I want…Even if that way isn’t right for everyone…The way I work is right for me…The way I work is right for those I serve…I can be healthy and safe working in the way that makes the most sense for me…Even if it isn’t the right way for everyone.

Pod #359: Tapping for the Fear of Rejection

I am worthy of success…I am worthy of celebrating that success…When I am successful…I’m not stealing success from others…When I am successful…I’m not pushing other people down…When I experience success…I can also lift others up…I am made for success…I am worthy of success…It is appropriate that I acknowledge that success…It is important that I celebrate my successes…And I’m not doing this in an egotistical way…I’m not doing this because I want other people to look at me…I’m doing it because acknowledging success is healthy…Celebrating my success creates space for more success…I know many people think celebrating is the wrong thing to do…Some friends and family believe we should all just be humble…But it is possible for us to be humble and still acknowledge the truth of our success…Some of my friends and family believe celebrating success is a sinful thing to do…They believe that celebrating is a sign of bad character…It is possible for me to appreciate their disposition without buying into it…I can appreciate my success and remain grounded…I can celebrate my success and keep moving forward…I am worthy of success…Because I am made for success.

I give myself permission to be happy about the good things happening in my life…I give myself permission to enjoy and savor them…Being happy about my success does not deprive other people of success…I’m happy about the good things happening in my life…Even though my life is not perfect…I can appreciate what I’m experiencing…And I can move through this in a way where I continue to connect deeply to my success…While continuing to experience joy…I am happy with the progress I am making…Even though it isn’t happening as quickly as I would like…I celebrate each small step forward…Knowing that each of these moments is contributing to greater and greater success in the future…I appreciate how far I’ve come…I appreciate the amount of work that I have put in…I give myself permission to enjoy my success…Enjoying my success helps me to create more success in the future for myself…And more success in the future for others…I am comfortable and happy with my success.

Pod #355: Tapping To Magnify Celebration

I’m frustrated by the rate of healing…I wish it was happening faster…I wish it was happening easier…I recognize the fact that when I feel this sort of resistance…And I feel this sort of resentment towards the healing process…I will slow the healing process…Because I don’t want to waste time…And I don’t want to waste energy on something that isn’t going to work out…On something that isn’t going to be fruitful…But at the same time I appreciate my frustration…Not because I enjoy being frustrated…But because frustration means that there is a part of me that wants healing and transformation to happen…Frustration is just my system saying it is dissatisfied with what is going on…I hear the frustration loud and clear…I don’t want me to be unhealthy…The frustration has done its job…By pointing out the slow rate of this transformation…And since I know this is true…The feeling of frustration can relax…And if the frustration needs to come back in future…That’s OK and I allow it to come back…I give myself permission to be easy and gentle with my frustration…Knowing it is possible for me to heal.

Intellectually I understand that transformation is a process…I understand that sometimes it doesn’t happen in a single step…That is because some of my issues are more complicated…Some of my issues have multiple layers to them…Sometimes my goal for tapping is to create release in the moment…And tapping is a very good tool for doing exactly that…But at times I want to create lasting and deep change…It’s more than just dealing with symptoms in the moment…I’m not looking for quick relief…I’m looking for a long term transformation…I give myself permission to be patient with the process…Even though I would like this to be quick…It is more important that it is lasting change…I give myself permission to be easy with the process…I give myself permission to allow this to take time…I am in this for the long haul…I am in this for long term, lasting transformation…I’m open to the possibility of instantaneous healing…But I’m willing to put in the work for lasting transformation even if it is not instantaneous.

I give myself permission to heal…I give myself permission to transform…By giving myself permission to heal and transform…I’m acknowledging that some of this work might be hard…I recognize the fact that I can do hard work in a way that is safe and healthy for me…I give myself permission to put in the time and effort…By investing in the short term in this way…I am ensuring my long term transformation will be lasting and deep…My goal is lasting transformation…I trust my system to create the process that will allow the healing to persist…To allow this transformation to take root…I am a healing machine…And I allow my system to keep healing.

Pod #354: Why Does Healing Always Have To Be A Process?

I know the people around me struggle…Because everybody struggles…Sometimes I can be helpful to the people around me…Because I don’t want to see them suffer…And I don’t want to see them struggle…And there are also times in which it is not best for me to be helpful…There are times when it is not best for the relationship for me to swoop in and solve the problem…And when that is the case…There is a part of me that feels bad for not being helpful…There’s a part of me that feels bad when I see other people struggle…But I recognize that I am not able to solve everyone’s problems all the time…I can’t be in a situation where I take responsibility for other people’s lives…Even though there’s a part of me that feels like I need to help…I recognize the fact that sometimes that is not useful in the long term…I recognize the fact that is not healthy in the long term…It is possible for me to be responsible to my loved ones without being responsible for my loved ones…It is possible for me to be helpful without helping right away all the time…It is good for me to create boundaries…It is healthy for me to create boundaries…And it is necessary for me to create boundaries…I can be kind…I can be thoughtful…I can be helpful…I can be loving…And not take on the responsibility of everyone else’s problem…There’s a part of me that struggles with finding this balance…It is important that I find the balance…Creating boundaries isn’t being mean…Creating boundaries isn’t thoughtless…Creating boundaries isn’t heartless…Creating healthy boundaries is a necessity for me…I give myself permission to create boundaries…I give myself permission to learn how to create boundaries and to stick to them.

Pod #345: EFT For Recognizing That Just Because There Are Problems, Doesn’t Mean They Are Your Problems (Pro-You Choices Part 4)

I feel guilty whenever I think about taking care of myself…I feel selfish…I feel mean…When I take care of myself…I feel like I am letting other people down…Because so many people are dependent upon me…The people around me are struggling…The people around me are in pain…I don’t want them to struggle…I don’t want them to be in pain…I don’t want them to have difficult times…But if I spend all of my time taking care of everyone else… Then I’m not going to be healthy…I’m not going to be safe…I’m not going to be in a good position moving forward…I need to spend time taking care of myself…Because if I don’t take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…Taking care of myself is my responsibility…Taking care of myself is something I must do…Taking care of myself is important for the short and long term…If I don’t take care of myself…It will be impossible for me to take care of anyone else…If I don’t take care of myself…No one else will do it for me…I must take care of myself…I know that’s not just a suggestion…It is an imperative…And when I take the time to take care of myself…I am happier…I am healthier…I am safer…When I am healthier…The world is a better place…When I am healthier…It is easier for me to respond to the needs of others…When I am healthy or I make better choices…I give myself permission to take care of myself…And I give myself permission to not feel guilty about that…I am worthy of taking care of myself…I give myself permission to take care of myself.

Pod #344: Putting Yourself First with EFT (Pro-You Choices Part 3)