The basic fear of rejection
I recognize the fact…That there is a part of me…That is worried I will be rejected by others…They will see who I am…And decide that I am not good enough…They will see who I am…And decide that I am not worth connecting with…They will see who I am…And they will decide I am not worth their time…And that I am not worth their energy…I appreciate why this fear of rejection is so big…Because at one point in our history as a species…Being rejected meant certain death…Being rejected meant the end…Being rejected meant being pushed to the outside forever…It is true that not everyone will accept me…It is true that not everyone will understand me…It is true that not everyone will appreciate me…Just because they reject me in this way does not mean I am in danger…It does not mean I am in peril…It does not mean that I’m going to die…Instead it simply means that we are not a good fit and we are not a good connection…That is not a value judgment of who I am…That is not a value judgment on my existence…I can be in a situation where I don’t connect with everyone and still be safe…There are lots of people I do connect with…There are lots of people I do resonate with…Even if they aren’t always around me…They are there and they exist…I recognize that I am safe even when I am not accepted by all…I give myself permission to know that I am safe when I am myself.
Fear that my work will be rejected
I recognize that the work I do is not for everyone…The type of work that I do is right for me…The type of work that I do is good for me…There will be times when I have a preference for the type of work that I want to do that other people are not going to resonate with…They will have different ideas about how things should be done…They will have different ideas about the work that I should do…People can even be well-intentioned and wanting me to do something else…But that does not mean I should be doing something else…I can truly be me and still be safe…I can do the work that I’m supposed to do and be safe…I can offer the work that I want to do, have that work rejected, and still be safe…I can be in a position where I offer my work and be OK if someone turns me down…They are not rejecting me as a person…They’re simply saying the work I do isn’t the right fit for them…I give myself permission to do the work that I want to do…Knowing that I will find the right people to connect with…The people who were right for me…When someone says no to my work I am still safe…When someone says no to my work I am not in trouble…It is simply a statement of best fit…I give myself permission to keep working in the way that I work…Because I know I can find the right connections…I know I can serve the right people…I can be safe even in the face of someone rejecting my work…I can be happy in the face of someone rejecting my work…I can be healthy in the face of someone rejecting my work.
Fear that people will reject my offer
I believe in the work that I do…And I believe in the way that I do that work…It is the right way for me to work…It is the best way for me to use my gifts and talents…I enjoy the work that I do…This does not mean the way I work is the right fit for everyone…Or the way I work is good for everyone…Or that everyone will be open to my work…That is OK…The way I work doesn’t have to resonate with everyone…There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to doing this kind of work…And because that is the case…People will say no to me…When they say no to me they aren’t saying I am bad…They aren’t saying my work is useless…They aren’t saying I’m doing this wrong…They are simply saying this is not a good fit for them…I give myself permission to be OK with that fact…It’s not always going to be the right fit…When someone says no they are making a statement about best fit…Someone can say no to how I work and I will still be safe…Someone can say no to how I work and I can still be healthy…Someone can say no to how I work and I can still move through the world in a way where I’m connecting with those I am supposed to connect to…It is safe for me to work in the way that I want…Even if that way isn’t right for everyone…The way I work is right for me…The way I work is right for those I serve…I can be healthy and safe working in the way that makes the most sense for me…Even if it isn’t the right way for everyone.