From The Tapping Q & A Podcast

I feel really disappointed…Because I am missing an opportunity…Because I’m missing an experience…Because I am missing an outcome I really wanted…I was so looking forward to this…It was something I was really going to enjoy and I can’t do it right now…And that hurts…The reason it hurts is because my system is pointing out something that was really important to me…My system is pointing out the missed opportunity…My system is pointing out the missed growth that could have happened…It is OK to feel disappointment…It’s OK to recognize hopes that have not been realized…I’m glad that I actually have hopes…I’m glad I had things to look forward to…It hurts not to have those expectations fulfilled…It hurts to know those opportunities are lost…But this is not the last opportunity I’m going to have…This is not the last experience that is good for me…This is not the last time I’m going to have hopes and expectations…I give myself permission to experience the disappointment…To acknowledge the things that are being missed…To acknowledge the future opportunities that have been lost because I lost this particular one…But that does not mean I’m stuck here…It does not mean that there are no longer things to look forward to…It does not mean I will always feel this way…I give myself permission to feel the disappointment…And to know that there is still hope.

I recognize that there’s a part of me that wants to make good, thoughtful choices…Choices that line up with my vision…Choices that line up with my mission…Choices that line up with who I want to be in the world…I’m glad I take responsibility for my choices…I’m glad that I want to make thoughtful choices…I’m glad I want to make deliberate choices…At the same time I don’t have to justify all of my choices…I don’t have to explain all of my choices…I don’t even need to have a good reason for making the choices that I’m making…I am allowed to make choices simply because I am making that choice…I am allowed to choose simply because I want the choice I am making…I don’t need a good explanation…I don’t need to explain why…I don’t have to justify it to anyone else…I don’t have to justify it to myself…I have to take responsibility for my choices…I have to take responsibility for the consequences of my choices…But they are just my choices…I can make them because I want to make them…this does not mean I am thoughtless…This does not mean that I’m careless…This does not mean that I’m reckless…It only means I am making a choice because I want to make that choice…It is my life…I get to choose to do what I want to do…I get to craft it in the way that I want to craft it…I give myself permission to make the choices that I want to make…Without having to justify them to anyone else.

I recognize the fact there are so many things in the universe that are outside of my control…When things are going well it feels like the world is manageable…When things are going as planned it feels like the world is predictable…It feels like I have more control than I actually do…In the moments of conflict it’s really easy to feel out of control…In the moments of strife it’s easy to feel lost…In the moments of uncertainty, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed…I give myself permission to feel overwhelmed…I give myself permission to feel out of control…I give myself permission to recognize that there are things that impact my life over which I have no control……This is not a sign of weakness…This is not a sign of helplessness…This is simply being human…I give these emotions permission to be heard…Because these emotions only want me to be safe…These emotions only want me to be aware…These emotions only want me to be able to manage the day-to -day in a healthy way…It makes sense that I’m looking out for danger…It makes sense that I’m looking out for trouble…It makes sense that I’m on the lookout for overwhelm…Just because there is uncertainty, it does not mean I am unsafe…Just because there is uncertainty, it does not mean I have lost my ability to choose…Just because there is uncertainty, I have not lost my ability to take action…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I give myself permission to be in this moment…I give myself permission to make the best possible choice that I can make in this moment…Even if I’m uncertain of what that choice should be…I can manage this…I can navigate this…I can survive this…I give myself permission to simply be in this moment…To make the best possible choices that I can make in big and in small ways…I have survived uncertainty before…I can survive uncertainty again…I give myself permission to be in this moment…I give myself permission to simply do the best that I can at this moment.

I recognize that recent months have been really hard…I recognize the fact that life has felt overwhelming…It has been unpredictable and difficult to manage…I am being impacted by this every single day in conscious and obvious ways…Other times it’s like a slow energy and emotional leak that is constantly happening in the background…Some days I’m able to manage this really, really well…Some days I’m able to navigate this without being overwhelmed…Other times it just becomes too much…I can’t focus…I’m distracted…Navigating the day feels much harder than it should be…There are even times where I completely break down…When the combination of all of these thoughts and all of these emotions become too much for me to navigate…Just become too much for me to manage…It becomes overwhelming…It feels like it is way too much for me to manage…When I’m overwhelmed like this…It feels like a failure…When I feel overwhelmed like this…It feels like I am breaking down…I’m overwhelmed and it feels like there’s no way out…I give myself permission to recognize that it is OK for me to admit that this is too much…It is OK for me to feel like I am breaking down because this really is a lot…This really is overwhelming…I give myself permission to take care of myself when I’m overwhelmed…I give myself permission to take care of myself when it feels like it is too much…I give myself permission to do what I need to do to take care of myself…Because in a moment like this…It’s OK to put myself first…In a moment like this, it’s OK to take care of myself…Even though this feels like it’s going to last forever…It’s not actually going to last forever…Even though this feels like it is completely overwhelming….It is something that I can and will survive…I give myself permission to admit this is hard…I give myself permission to take care of myself…I give myself permission to know that this isn’t going to last forever. 

My life is impacted by things that are outside of my control…There are things that I depend on…Sometimes I don’t have access to these things…Other people make mistakes…Systems break down…The systems and services that I build my life upon can run into all sorts of trouble…When I have this sort of trouble it disrupts everything…I can’t do what I need to do…I have to waste time trying to solve the problem…Sometimes there’s nothing I can do, and I’m just dependent upon someone else…It is so frustrating because when things are mission critical…It makes my life much harder when they are not working…And when this happens, I feel overwhelmed…I feel angry…I feel frustrated…I feel betrayed…It makes it really hard for me to see straight…It makes it really hard for me to think straight…It makes it really hard for me because it affects in every single part of my life…I give myself permission to hear all of these emotions…To know that these emotions want what’s best for me…They just want me to be safe…They want me to be healthy…They want me to be cared for…I give myself permission to hear these emotions…At the same time, I can recognize that this is not the end of the world…It is making my life harder…It is making my life more complicated…But I will get through this….It will not last forever even though it feels like it is lasting forever right now.

I recognize the fact that I was really emotional…I recognize that I was really overwhelmed…I recognize the fact that my emotions really got the better of me…And because I was so emotional, I acted hastily…I acted thoughtlessly which led to me behaving in a very unkind way…Unfortunately, what is done is done…Acting how I acted might’ve harmed a relationship and that’s hard…I pride myself in being thoughtful…I pride myself in being deliberate…I pride myself in having control of my emotions…In the moment I knew I was too emotional to respond…And still I let my emotions get the better of me…I know I can do better…I know I should have done better…Now the best that I can do is to take responsibility for my choices…And take responsibility for my actions…Learn from the moment and to give myself permission to do better in the future…Learning from the mistake without living in the mistake.

I’m really emotional right now…My emotions are really big…I hear the emotions…I understand that they’re trying to give me information…I know they want me to be aware…I also recognize I am not solely my emotions…My entire experience isn’t this feeling…I give myself permission to feel the emotion and let it go…I give myself permission to feel the emotion and to pass through it…The emotion is just information…It does not define me…It is not me…It’s just what I’m experiencing right now…I give myself permission to allow the emotion to pass without having to live in it forever…Knowing that it is just information…And I do not have to remain in this temporary emotional state.

I recognize that I compare myself to others…It isn’t necessarily a bad thing to be drawing a comparison…Looking to others as a way to learn…Looking to others to see a possible way forward…Looking to others is a way of seeing what is possible…But it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of using how others are presenting themselves as the standard that I am holding myself to…As the measurement as to whether or not I am doing a good job…As a way of seeing if I am being successful at life…The problem with doing this is it is not a fair comparison…I am not comparing like for like…I am comparing how other people are presenting themselves with what I am experiencing inside my own head…With what I am feeling inside my own heart…That is not a fair comparison…Everyone is trying to put on a brave face…Everyone is trying to show their lives at their best…So what others are presenting is not a full representation of their experience…And when I make this sort of comparison…I’m not treating myself kindly…Because it is not a fair comparison…When I look at other people’s social media feeds and feel bad…It’s because I am comparing my true self to their presentation of what their life is like…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I give myself permission to recognize the truth about the way people present themselves in the world…I want to continue to strive for better…I want to be healthier…I want to be more successful…Comparing myself to others is not a useful way of doing that…I give myself permission to let go of the comparison…I recognize that sort of comparison is not fair to myself…This does not mean I’m going to stop trying…This does not mean I’m going to stop improving…It simply means I’m going to choose a more accurate comparison to see if I am achieving my goals…It is time for me to compare myself to myself and no one else…I can do this honestly…I can do this fairly…I can do this and keep evolving without being overwhelmed by the comparison.

I don’t always make the best choices…Sometimes I make really detrimental choices…I make choices that hurt me…I make unhealthy choices that I know are bad for me…And as I’m making those poor choices…It’s really easy to beat myself up…It’s really easy to feel overwhelmed by the consequences because of those choices…But I also recognize that my goal isn’t to make good choices all of the time…My goal is to make conscious choices…Because when I make conscious choices over the long term…I do make better choices…And more importantly I’m aware of who I am in the moment with each choice…I’m aware of who I am becoming…As long as I continue to do that in a conscious way…I’m going to move forward thoughtfully…I’m going to move forward in a deliberate way…And that’s really OK…Because when I move in that way I’m consciously controlling my life..I’m not responding purely from habit…Or responding purely from desire…And in the long term, that will mean much better choices…In the long term I will be healthier…In the long term I will be happier…As I navigate this in big and in small ways…It is OK if I sometimes make an unhealthy choice…I just want to make that unhealthy choice in a deliberate way…Because then I’m taking responsibility…Then I’m in the moment…Which makes it easier for me to move forward in a healthy and positive way. 

I recognize that there are a number of identities that I’ve picked up…Some of those identities are cultural…Some of those identities come from my family…Some of those identities are ones I have chosen to feel useful and safe in the world…It’s good for me to have something to live up to…It’s good for me to have something to strive for…It’s good for me to be in a situation where I have a clear idea of who and what I want to be…But at the same time these identities are not who I am….These characteristics do not define how I navigate the world…These identities are not the way that I actually stay safe…I can be safe in the world without having to live these identities perfectly…I’m allowed to change my mind…I’m allowed to change my disposition…I’m allowed to change the way I see myself in the world…I’m allowed to let go of these old identities…If this identity serves me at some point in the future, I can pick it back up again…If this identity is helpful in the future, I can engage with it again…I don’t have to live up to these statements to be healthy…I don’t have to live up to these identities to be safe…I don’t have to embrace these characteristics all of the time to be my authentic self…These identities can be a benchmark…These identities can help me in my daily life…But they do not define me…Who I am in this moment defines me…And I give myself permission to choose that right now.

I recognize that part of my system wants me to be healthy…It wants me to be safe…And it believes that I can stay safe by using the tools that I’m currently using…Navigating my day in the way that I always have…Even though the tools I’m using aren’t perfect…They are familiar tools working in a functional way…Because they are working in a functional way…My system doesn’t want to let them go…My system doesn’t want me to put them down…And that is the reason why I don’t tap as much as I would like to..I don’t tap regularly because my system is worried that if I tap on this issue, I’ll lose access to the familiar tools that allow me to cope…If I lose access to the tools, then I’ll be stuck in a situation where I’ve changed the habit but I’m still in pain…I recognize that there are healthier tools..I recognize that there are better ways to approach this…I give myself permission to know that I’m just putting down this current tool…And if I think that tool will be useful again at some point in the future…I’m allowed to pick it up…I’m allowed to use it again….It is a tool that might have served me in the past….It was a tool that might’ve been the best tool I had access to at a certain point in my life…I now recognize in this moment, it’s no longer the best tool for me…I give myself permission to put the tool down…Doing that will make it easier and healthier for me…I give myself permission to know I can pick up that tool again at any point in the future, if I want to…I doubt that’s what I will want…But I’m allowed to pick it up later…It is safe for me to tap on this issue…It is safe for me to release this process….Knowing that as I tap, I am choosing a healthier tool for myself….My subconscious mind wants me to be healthy…My conscious mind wants me to be healthy…And this is an opportunity for every part of my system to act in harmony.

I recognize that I want things to work out well…That I want to live up to my expectations…And I want to be successful…There is a part of me that is constantly judging me against my expectations…Constantly pushing me forward…Constantly wanting better…And when I don’t meet my expectations…That part judges me…When I don’t act with pure confidence…That part judges me…It’s judging me because it wants better for me…It’s judging me because it wants to keep pushing me forward…It’s judging me because it wants me to be successful…But the problem is that it’s beating me up…Beating me up in a way that is unhelpful…It feels like it is being unkind…It’s not seeing me for who I am…It’s not seeing me for what I’m achieving…It’s judging me against a standard of perfection…I’m glad it wants me to be better…I’m glad it wants me to move forward…I’m glad it wants me to be successful…But it’s not helping me right now…Beating myself up like this is not a good motivator…Beating myself up actually makes it harder for myself…Beating myself up in this way prevents me from taking action…So I give myself permission to know that I don’t have to beat myself up…I give myself permission to know that I can to do better…Without having to scold myself…I recognize the fact that I can appreciate the success that I have…Even if it’s not the total success I would like right now…My success is not an all-or-nothing proposition…I can move from success to success…Building something that is bigger…Building something that is more confident…As my life evolves and grows…I’m glad there’s a part of me that wants me to work harder…I’m glad there’s a part of me that wants to be more successful…And I know I can have that success without being perfect…I can have that success without being a hundred percent confident in every single action I take…I can have that success as I ease into moving forward…It’s good for me to evaluate myself…It’s good for me to evaluate my actions…But I don’t need to evaluate every part of my life against a standard of perfection.