I recognize that a part of me that fears judgment…There’s a part of me that fears rejection…It’s a very human feeling to fear judgment…It is a natural human feeling to fear rejection…So if judgment is a possibility, it makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t want to put myself out there…It makes perfect sense that I wouldn’t want to experience that type of rejection…But the reality is that most people aren’t judging me…When someone says no to me it isn’t a judgment…When someone says no to me it is not an evaluation of my worth…When someone says no to me they’re not judging the value of my work…Instead when someone says no what they’re really saying is it’s not the right fit…It’s not the right fit right now…It’s not the right fit based on the information they have…It’s not the right fit based on what they’re feeling in this particular moment…They’re simply making a statement about the right fit for them…Because this is the case it’s OK for me to ask…Because this is the case it’s safe for me to put myself out there…And it is safe for me to try…I give myself permission to trust others…To trust that they are not judging me…Instead they are evaluating the fit. 

It is good for me to look back…It is good for me to evaluate my past choices…It is good for me to see where I have been…To take responsibility for my past choices and to learn from my past…At the same time I recognize the fact it is impossible for me to see my past self clearly…I have learned since then…I have grown since then…I have transformed since then…And that makes it hard for me to remember my previous self…To remember what I knew and didn’t know back then…Once I know something now there’s a part of me that believes that I’ve always known it…Because this is human nature…Because this is the human experience…I need to remind myself to be gentle with myself…When I’m evaluating my past…When evaluating my previous choices…This doesn’t mean I’m letting myself off the hook…This doesn’t mean that I’m being thoughtless and careless…I should only judge my past self and who I was in that moment…And what I knew in that moment…And what I was capable of in that moment…I know much more now than I did back then…I’m doing myself a huge disservice by judging myself based on what I know now…I choose to take responsibility and see myself for who I clearly was back then…I can learn from the past while still remembering I was in a different place when I was making those choices back then…I’m glad I’m the new me…I’m glad that I’m continuing to evolve and grow…Part of that evolution is being gentle with my past self. 

I want peace in the world…I want peace in my world…I want to recognize the connection I have with others…I want to be open to others connecting with me…I want to be an instrument of peace…And often when I am an instrument of peace it’s not through giant grand gestures…It’s not via over-the-top actions…It is in the peace that I create in my own life…It is in the peace that I create in my own family…Is the peace that I create with everyone I interact with every day…It is not always easy to show up in a way that promotes peace…It is not always easy to be charitable…It is not always easy to be open and giving…Is not always easy to practice peace…I give myself permission today to know that my simple loving acts are useful…My graceful acts make a difference…My gentle acts make a difference and are significant…They are meaningful actions…They do create peace…I want to be a peacemaker…I want to be an agent of peace…In big and in small ways…My simple actions and my small actions and my kind actions create ripples that have a larger impact…Help me to know peace…Help me to strive for peace…Help me to be peace in the world.

I recognize that making choices is hard…That most of the choices I’m making are not clear-cut…There is no obvious answer…There’s no obvious way forward…And because of this, I am of two minds…I can see the pros and cons to both sides…I can see the emotional benefit in the emotional struggle of both sides…Because of that it’s hard for me to make a choice…I don’t want to waste time…I don’t want to waste the energy…I don’t want to squander the possibilities…That is the reason why I’m stuck…I’m keeping myself safe by not making a choice…My system believes that if I don’t move forward, then I won’t waste time going the wrong way…I won’t waste energy making the wrong choice…The reality is that when I don’t make a choice, time is passing…When I don’t take action, opportunities are being squandered…Even though my system is trying to keep me safe by not making the wrong choice…It is trying to keep me safe by preventing me from moving forward in the wrong direction…It is OK for me to make a choice…It’s OK for that choice not to be perfect…It is OK that I don’t have all of the information when I’m making a choice…I give myself permission to know that I can make choices even when I have incomplete information…I give myself permission to make choices even when I am not certain about which choice to make…I make choices all the time with incomplete information…And that is OK…I give myself permission to make choices that are imperfect…Knowing that I can learn from those choices…Knowing that I can grow from those choices…It’s not about being perfect in every choice…It’s not about being perfect in every moment…I give myself permission to be easy with myself when I choose…Knowing it is about the sum total of all of my choices that contribute and create my happiness…I give myself permission to know that I can be imperfect and still create a great life…To be happy and healthy and to move forward in a way that I know I can be satisfied with…It is natural to be of two minds…I give myself permission to be easy with being of two minds…And to move forward in the way that makes the most sense for me…Even when each choice is not obvious…I can make choices that create a life that I want…Even in the imperfection of those choices. 

I love my family… I appreciate the members of my family…I only want what is best for them…I want them to be happy…I want them to thrive…Because they are my family…Just because someone is my family does not mean we have the same worldview…Doesn’t mean we believe the same things…It doesn’t mean we see situations in the same way…It doesn’t mean we understand our relationship in the same way…Because this is the case, it can cause tension in my family…It can cause friction in my relationships…There are even times in which my family members make choices that are destructive…Their choices can be destructive to our relationship…And they can be destructive to me…It is hard to be in a situation where I want what is best for my family and I don’t want to interact with some of my family members…Having direct contact with them makes my life harder…Sometimes having direct contact with them causes pain…There’s a part of me that feels like I’m failing if I try to push my family away…There’s a part of me that feels like I am a bad person for not wanting to spend time with my family…Just because they are my family it doesn’t mean that it is good for me to spend time with them…It doesn’t mean that it is good for me to engage with them…Wanting space is not bad…Wanting space is not a failing…Wanting space does not mean that I am a bad family member…It simply means I need to do what is right for me…It only means that I should be taking care of myself…In big and in small ways…I can want what is best for my family and at the same time want them to be a thousand miles away from me…I’m not a bad person for doing that…I’m not failing for feeling that…I can love someone and not want them to be around me…I can want what’s best for them and not interact with them…I need to take responsibility for myself and my life…I need to take responsibility for myself and my experience…It is OK for me to want to keep my family at a distance…Because if I am not taking responsibility for my well-being, nobody else is going to do that for me…It is OK for me to recognize that fact…I’m allowed to love my family and to love them from a distance.