I give myself permission to recognize that sometimes when people help they aren’t actually helpful at all…The help they are offering and the advice they are giving is not useful…And in some cases it actually makes it harder for me because I have to deal with them too…It is hard enough trying to solve the problem at hand…It becomes worse when I have to deal with help that is not useful…I can appreciate where they are coming from…I can appreciate the fact that they want better for me…I can appreciate their intention…But just because someone’s intention is good does not mean that they are actually helpful…Sometimes they are well meaning and but not competent…I am allowed to acknowledge that it is frustrating to have unhelpful helpfulness…It can feel overwhelming when unuseful advice is forced upon me….And because I’m trying to solve this problem…I give myself permission to stop whatever is making it harder for me to solve it…I’m even allowed to stop help that isn’t actually helpful…It can be hard to tell someone to stop helping us…They can perceive us as being ungrateful…But if they are going to be put off emotionally because we are asking them to stop, that is their choice…I am not responsible for their emotional state…I am not responsible for how they respond to me…I can acknowledge their intention…I can understand where they are coming from… At the same time I can ask them to stop helping in an unhelpful way…I need to solve the problem at hand…That means I’m permitted to allow in only what is truly helpful…If I need help, I’m allowed to ask for help in a way that is specifically helpful to me…Standing up for myself in this way can be hard…But dealing with the problem that is in front of me is harder…Solving my problem is more important…I’m allowed to ask for help…And I’m also allowed to turn down help that is not useful…In the end it is solving my problem that is most important…I am not responsible for how others feel as I solve my problem…This is my problem…And since I’m responsible for it…I’m allowed to make the best choices to help me to solve it…I can appreciate well-meaning incompetence…And I can say no to well-meaning incompetence…Because it is what is best for me.