From The Tapping Q & A Podcast

I hate the feeling of loneliness…It is so isolating…It feels like a giant black hole…And it’s sucking whatever energy I have out of me…It’s not just a thought…It’s not just a feeling…It is something that consumes my entire body…Sometimes it feels even bigger than my body…Like it’s surrounding me from all sides…It saps my energy…It depletes my will…It makes me feel heavy…Making it so hard for me to take action…And when I feel lonely it is easy to judge myself…Making me believe that it is all my fault…And I can easily believe there’s something wrong with me…There’s a part of me that believes that if I were better…Or if I were more…

People would want to connect with me…People would want to be a part of my life…People would want to know who I am…Connection is a human need…We are made for connection…Being without connection can feel like being deprived of oxygen…It can feel like drowning…Making it hard for us to take new actions…Making it possible to take new and positive connections…I give myself permission to know that I am not alone in my loneliness…I give myself permission to know that feeling lonely is not my fault…I give myself permission to know that feeling lonely is not a judgment on who I am…It is not a judgment on my value as a person…Feeling lonely is not a permanent state…It is not who I am…I give myself permission to know that I do not need to stay stuck here…

Because connection is possible…There are people around me who want to connect in a human way…I am open to these connections…I am open to others seeing me as I truly am…No matter how long I have been stuck here…I will not stay lonely forever…Even though there is a part of me that fears my loneliness is permanent…

I choose to know that I am made for connection…And others around me are longing for the same type of connection…I give myself permission to see the possibility of connection around me…I give myself permission to put in the work to find meaningful connection…Knowing it is possible for me to have exactly that…I give myself permission to trust myself…And to trust in the possibility of connection. 

What happened right now hurt…What happened right now hurt me personally…It feels as if that person doesn’t care about me…They don’t understand how their choices impact me…But just because it impacts me in a personal way…Does not mean they were trying to hurt me…It’s possible I’m a casualty of something else…It is unfair that I’ve been hurt…I’m allowed to stand up for myself…I’m going to make sure others take responsibility for their choices…I have the right to defend myself when I am hurt…And it is also good for me to recognize that sometimes even when it hurts me personally…It’s not about me personally…When I see it’s not about me personally…I’m able to respond more thoughtfully…It’s good to stand up for myself…It’s good that I don’t let others run over me…It’s also important to understand how and why I got run over…It’s important to understand how and why I felt hurt…So I can respond in the best way possible in the short and the long term.

I really appreciate tapping…I appreciate everything that it has done for me…I appreciate how it has expanded the way I see myself…I appreciate the fact that tapping has helped me to clear so many issues…Sometimes doing work is nothing but work…It takes time…It takes effort…It takes diving into deep emotional issues…It is frustrating that when I invest all that time and effort…And think that I have made progress…And feel like I’ve made progress…And believe I’ve made progress…Only to find out I’m not done…Only to find out I’m still wounded…Only to find out that my emotions can overwhelm me…It’s really disappointing…It feels like I failed…It feels like I’m never actually going to get through this…It feels as if any progress I make is fleeting…It feels as if any progress I’ve made is not enough…It feels that no matter how hard I try…I will always be stuck…It is so disappointing…I feel like the toolset is letting me down…I feel like I’ve let myself down…I feel like I’ve failed…I feel like I’m going to be stuck here forever…Part of me wants to give up on the healing work…If I’m just going to stay stuck in this place…If I’m not actually going to make progress…Why bother trying…Why bother tapping…Why bother doing any of this at all…On some level I know this is my frustration talking…It is the part of me that’s overwhelmed with emotion that is talking…I know that tapping has made a difference…I know my life is better…I know progress is happening…I know growth is happening…I know expansion is happening…I know healing is happening…Part of me wants more…And I’m glad I want more…I’m glad I’m not satisfied with where I am…Even though there’s a part of me that is impatient…It’s a part of me that wants better now…I appreciate that a part of me wants better now…There’s a part of me that is frustrated…The part that is frustrated wants better now…I’m glad it wants better now…I give myself permission to continue to be easy with myself in this process as I slowly make progress…To be paIn this process as I slowly move forward…Strides are being made…Healing is happening…This is just a bump in the road…This is recognition that nor work needs to be done…This is an opportunity for more growth…I would be happy with an opportunity for more growth again…I would be happy with no more speed bumps…I recognize the fact…That as I move forward there is work to be done…I am open to that work…I need to do that work…I am grateful for that work…I am lucky to have the opportunity to do that work…I am grateful for the healing that came before this…I still have a lot to do…More than I would care to admit…But the progress is happening…The healing is coming…In big and small ways…The healing is coming. 

I recognize the fact that I made a big mistake…I made a commitment that I did not live up to…And making that commitment was a mistake…I wasn’t thoughtful about my time…I wasn’t thoughtful about my attention…I said yes to something I shouldn’t have said yes to…So I let other people down…I made it harder for them to be successful…I made it harder for them to move forward…It hurts to let someone else down…Because we know how it impacts them…We can see the failing in ourselves…I like to think I’m competent…I like to think that I’m able…I like to think that I’m trustworthy…And I like to think others can count on me…But in this particular situation I didn’t do what I should have doneIn I didn’t respond quickly…I didn’t acknowledge my mistake until it was too late…Feeling disappointment in myself is my system’s way of acknowledging that I haven’t lived up to who I want to be…Feeling embarrassed is my system recognizing the mistake I have made…And knowing that others are seeing me and my mistake…There is a part of me that wants to stay stuck shame…Because it believes I should be punished for that with that uncomfortable negative feeling…But being stuck in shame is not helpful…It doesn’t serve me…And it doesn’t serve those I have injured…It is important that I learn from my mistakes…It is important that I take responsibility for my mistakes…It is important that I recognize the lessons I can learn from this error of judgment…It’s important that I acknowledge to those I have hurt that I’ve hurt them…Staying stuck in shame does not serve them…Staying stuck in shame does not serve me…Staying stuck in shame does not serve the world…I give myself permission to recognize that I can take responsibility for my mistakes…Without having to stay stuck in shame…I can take responsibility for my human error and not stay stuck in shame…Regret is instructive…Shame is debilitating…I give myself permission to take responsibility and learn from my mistakes…Without having to relive them over and over again

There is part of me that is afraid to take this action…That is afraid to reach out to others…Because I’m asking them to do something that I think will work…But there have been times in the past where it didn’t work out as planned…And it didn’t work out as promised…So there’s a part of me that is afraid to try again…It’s afraid I’ll try again and fail again…I recognize the fact because of my past experience I understand more…I know how to act differently…I learned a lot from that past experience…This time as I step into it…I’m going to do it more effectively…I’m going to do it more efficiently…I’m less likely to make mistakes…I’m more likely to make good choices…There is a part of me that doesn’t believe that I can do this at all… That doesn’t believe that it’s possible…I give myself permission to recognize the fact that I am capable of doing this…It is something I’ve done before…It is something I can do again successfully…I give myself permission to trust myself…To trust my ability…To trust myself to respond to things that don’t go perfectly…Because there is a part of me that knows I can handle situations that don’t go perfectly…Anytime I am faced with something that I am not perfect at…I recognize it will take work…I recognize it will take effort…I want things to be easy…I want things to be smooth…But if I only did the things I am perfect at…I wouldn’t move forward at all…I wouldn’t learn new skills…And I wouldn’t have grown and got to where I am today…There are lots of things that I have done where I have grown and improved in the process…I wasn’t perfect…But despite that, it turned out better than I planned…I give myself permission to recognize that as I move forward…There will be be times where success requires more work than I like…And that’s okay…Good things come from that work.

I recognize the fact that there is a part of me that wants to show up authentically…That wants to show up with certainty as my true self…Being able to share my truth…And able to share that truth authentically…I value authenticity…I want to be an authentic person…But at the same time there’s a part of me that is afraid…It’s worried that if I show my authentic self, I will be judged…If I show my authentic self, I will be in danger…If I share my authentic self, I will put myself in harm’s way…But I choose to recognize that the reason that fear shows up…Is because it is worried that authenticity is an all-or-nothing proposition…And that is not how authenticity works…Showing up authentically does not mean I’m exposing all of myself…Showing up authentically does not mean I’m exposing myself to everyone…Showing up authentically does not mean I am exactly the same all of the time…I get to choose the parts of my life that I share…I get to choose the people I share this with…I get to choose when I do the sharing…I am always allowed to change my mind about how much I am sharing…Authenticity is not an all-or-nothing proposition…I can honest without sharing every part of myself…It is good for me to consciously choose the people I am sharing with…It is good for me to consciously choose how much I am sharing…I give myself permission to know that I can also change my mind…Just because I shared before, doesn’t mean I have to share now…Just because I shared before, doesn’t mean I have to share again…It is safe for me to be my authentic self…Because it does not mean I am sharing everything…Being authentic does not mean I am being reckless…Being authentic does not mean I am being careless…Being authentic does not mean I’m being thoughtless…I can be deliberately authentic…Choosing how much I want to share in any given situation…Because it’s my choice, I can do it safely…Because it is my choice, I’m in control…I give myself permission to be authentically me in a way that makes sense in any given moment.

I recognize that I’m a complicated system…I’m a multi-faceted and  multi-dimensional being…I don’t always think of myself in singular terms…I think of my parts separately…And I have different emotions about these different parts…Today I appreciate all of these parts…I appreciate the whole…Even though it might be hard for me to say these things…I give myself permission to say them and truly feel them…I send love and appreciation to my body…I send love and appreciation to my mind…I send love and appreciation to my spirit…I send love and appreciation to my past…I send love and appreciation to my present…I send love and appreciation to my future…I send love and appreciation to my dreams…I send love and appreciation to my worries that are trying to keep me safe…I send love and appreciation to the part of me that’s keeping me healthy…I send love and appreciation to the part of me that’s keeping me grounded…I send love and appreciation to the part of me that’s keeping me thoughtful…I send love and appreciation to every part of my being…I send love and appreciation to all of me…I send love and appreciation…I send love and appreciation…I send love and appreciation…I send love and appreciation. 

There is a part of me that believes that I understand the issue I’m experiencing is because of very specific reasons…It’s good that I’m trying to figure out the root cause…It’s helpful for me to investigate the information I have…I give myself permission to be open to the fact…That even though I think this is the reason that I am the way that I am….It does not mean this is the reason I am this way…I am open to letting go of this story…I’m not going to dismiss my story…And I’m not going to say the story is wrong…But I also know that just because I believe I am this way because of a story…That does not mean it is a fact…As I tap today I am open to new information about my issue…So that I can truly clear it and and move forward in the most healthy way possible.

There’s a part of me that wants to know the root cause…There’s a part of me that wants to know why…Because if I know why…I will be in a position to prevent this from happening again…And that is a good motivation…It would be great to understand why…But if I wait to understand why…I may never heal this…It is possible that there might not be one specific reason or cause…It might be something that slowly crept in over time…And slowly changed the way I saw myself in the world…I give myself permission to resolve this issue without knowing exactly why and how it came about…I’m open to the possibility that I will know why as I go through this process…And if I uncover new information…I can use it to make better choices in the future…But just because it happened before doesn’t mean it will happen again…And just because I don’t know why it happened does not mean it will happen again…My healing is much more important than understanding why…When my healing happens and I move forward with my life…Then I will be healthier…I give myself permission not to know why in order to heal.

I understand that this is not a healing moment but a healing process…As my healing unfolds I know I’m doing it in such a way that it will be lasting…It would be great if it happened in a flash…It would be great if I could release this in a single session…But I’m more concerned with how long the healing lasts…And how deep the healing is…Than I am about how quickly it happens…If this takes five or six or seven weeks I am fine with that…In the scope of my whole life it is just a short time….And I’m okay with that…Because I want long-term health…I want long-term healing…This is a process…It’s not a moment…And I give myself permission to be comfortable with the fact that it’s a process…I give myself permission to let this process unfold in a way that will lead to long-term lasting health.

I give myself permission to recognize that sometimes when people help they aren’t actually helpful at all…The help they are offering and the advice they are giving is not useful…And in some cases it actually makes it harder for me because I have to deal with them too…It is hard enough trying to solve the problem at hand…It becomes worse when I have to deal with help that is not useful…I can appreciate where they are coming from…I can appreciate the fact that they want better for me…I can appreciate their intention…But just because someone’s intention is good does not mean that they are actually helpful…Sometimes they are well meaning and but not competent…I am allowed to acknowledge that it is frustrating to have unhelpful helpfulness…It can feel overwhelming when unuseful advice is forced upon me….And because I’m trying to solve this problem…I give myself permission to stop whatever is making it harder for me to solve it…I’m even allowed to stop help that isn’t actually helpful…It can be hard to tell someone to stop helping us…They can perceive us as being ungrateful…But if they are going to be put off emotionally because we are asking them to stop, that is their choice…I am not responsible for their emotional state…I am not responsible for how they respond to me…I can acknowledge their intention…I can understand where they are coming from… At the same time I can ask them to stop helping in an unhelpful way…I need to solve the problem at hand…That means I’m permitted to allow in only what is truly helpful…If I need help, I’m allowed to ask for help in a way that is specifically helpful to me…Standing up for myself in this way can be hard…But dealing with the problem that is in front of me is harder…Solving my problem is more important…I’m allowed to ask for help…And I’m also allowed to turn down help that is not useful…In the end it is solving my problem that is most important…I am not responsible for how others feel as I solve my problem…This is my problem…And since I’m responsible for it…I’m allowed to make the best choices to help me to solve it…I can appreciate well-meaning incompetence…And I can say no to well-meaning incompetence…Because it is what is best for me. 

I recognize I take on burdens for others…When I take these burdens on it is an act of love…I don’t want them to have to carry this burden anymore…Sometimes I do this consciously…Sometimes I take these on burdens unconsciously at a very early age…It was an act of love…I recognize there is a higher act of love…Instead of carrying the burden I can release the burden…I give myself permission to let go of all of the burdens I’ve been caring for others…This will give me freedom…It will also give freedom to those I’m carrying the burden for…I can feel myself slowly shedding these burdens…This is not only freedom for me but it’s also freedom for those I’m carrying the burden for…I don’t have to remember the burdens or why I picked them up…I just know now is the time to release them…I give myself permission to feel the burden slowly like thing and releasing…I’m getting this freedom for myself and for others. 

Collarbone…side of the eye…Eyebrow…Under the nose…Side of the hand…Under the arm…Collarbone…Eyebrow…Side of the eye…Under the nose…Collarbone…Side of the hand…Under the arm…Collarbone… Side of the eye…Eyebrow…Under the eye…Under the nose…Chin…Collarbone…Side of the hand…Under the arm.

Pod #385: Tapping To Let Go Of The Emotional Burdens We Have Picked Up For Other