Now is so difficult…There’s so much uncertainty in the world…My internal guidance can’t figure out what is coming next…My internal guidance is working overtime to keep me safe because it is dealing with the unpredictable…I really appreciate that it is trying to keep me safe…I appreciate that it’s willing to work so hard…And at the same time it is over-functioning…It’s like a piece of software running in the background on my computer that’s wasting resources and energy…And it means I am at a much lower resource state…I have less energy…I have less focus…It’s not because I’m doing something wrong…I am paying an energetic tax at the beginning of every single day…I’m starting at 80% of my regular resources…This isn’t because I’m doing it wrong…It’s because of the state of the world…And the worry that’s constantly running in the background…Because of this I give myself permission to lower my expectations of what I will achieve in one day…If I were feeling sick, I would be easier on my expectations…If I lost two hours in the middle of the day to deal with a technical problem, I would adjust my expectations…What I’m experiencing right now is no different…It is not my fault…I am not doing something wrong…It’s just the reality of the world right now…I give myself permission to reset my expectations…I also recognize that it’s really important that I pay attention to my system at the moment…That I listen very carefully to what it needs…I listen if it needs rest…I listen if it needs exercise…I listen to see if it needs particular nourishment…I listen to see if it is just exhausted…And not only am I going to listen more carefully…I’m going to respond to my system’s requests…I’m going to be gentle with myself as I tune into my needs…I’m going to be easy with myself as I understand what I actually need…I also recognize that some days I’m not going to have everything I need…Some days I’m just going to be off-kilter…Some days I won’t have the same amount of focus…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I give myself permission to be gentle with my experience…To be kind to myself…And if I need to stop and reset again tomorrow, I give myself permission to do exactly that…Right now it is harder even when there isn’t an obvious struggle…I give myself permission to be gentle and patient with myself…To take each day as it comes…Managing it in big and small ways…Knowing it is OK not to be perfect.

I am worthy of being here…I’m worthy of taking up space…I’m worthy of existing…I’m worthy of being seen…I’m worthy of being here…I’m worthy of taking action…I’m worthy of creating a good life…I’m worthy of being recognized…I’m worthy of moving forward…I’m worthy of being seen…I’m worthy of taking up space…I’m worthy of being loved…I’m worthy of being recognized…I’m worthy to be here. 

I recognize that my fear is trying to help me…The fear that I’m feeling is helping me to identify danger…The fear that I’m feeling is trying to point out pitfalls…The fear that I’m feeling is trying to keep me safe…I appreciate that my system wants me to be safe…I appreciate that it doesn’t want me to be in danger…But in this particular instance the fear is over functioning…It is working way too hard…It is making it difficult for me to act…The fear is causing fight, flight, freeze, or fog inside me…Experiencing any of those makes it difficult for me to take action…There’s also a part of me that is afraid that if I let go of the fear, I will become too casual…That I’m going to become reckless…I’m going to become thoughtless…It is worried that the only reason that I am taking action is because of the fear that I’m feeling…In this situation feeling urgency is better than feeling fear…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me focused…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me safe…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me on task…I give myself permission to move from a state of fear to one of urgency…Because when I feel urgency I’m able to take action…Without being stuck by the fear…I’m glad the fear is trying to keep me safe…But by keeping me stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fog…It is holding me back from taking positive action, which is preventing me from being safe…It is much easier for me to take an action from a sense of urgency…It is safer for me to take action from a sense of urgency because I make better choices…I’m glad I want to be safe…Working from a sense of urgency is the easiest way for me to be safe. 

I’m in this moment because of all of the choices that came before it…Choices I made…Choices made by others I know intimately…Choices made by people I will never know…Here I am in this moment…Every choice that has preceded this moment by me and by others has created this moment…Has informed this moment…But those choices do not control this moment…In this moment and in every moment I have the opportunity to choose something different…I can choose to stay in the same place and follow the same patterns…Or I can choose something new…

Some choices will be much harder than others because of the weight and gravity of the choices I have made in the past…And even though previous choices influence the next choice…They do not control the next choice…They do not predetermine the next choice…What is much more important than the choices that led to this moment is the choice that I make next…How I choose to see myself…And how I choose to define my world…That is the most important…Some of the choices I want to make will be difficult because I will be fighting the habits of other choices…The habits of other beliefs…It’s much easier and more neurologically efficient to make the same choice again…That doesn’t mean it has to be the choice I make…My history is important…

The history of the people around me is important…It has shaped me to be who I am…It’s shaped my history…What I choose to be in the next moment is only informed by that…I am not imprisoned by my history…My history is not predestined…Regardless what has gone before, I can choose something new…And in the moment after that, I can choose something new…At any moment I can return to the old patterns…I can return to the old beliefs…And that is a choice I can make…It takes effort…It takes conscious work…

Trusting in something new…I was given that ability to choose something new because I’m worthy of that choice…I don’t learn that choice…I don’t have to deserve that choice…The ability to choose as my birthright…That is what I’ve been made for…At this moment I give myself permission to trust myself enough to make the next choice…That choice will give me feedback…That choice will give me insight…And that will allow me to know what I will choose next…It will inform what I will choose next…I choose to recognize that I am not defined by my past choices…Every choice I make is a new choice and a brand new opportunity.

I recognize the fact that I’m experiencing grief…Not a big grief right at the front of my mind…But lots of smaller grief…That’s hanging around in the background…Just under the surface…And it’s creating a nagging sensation that something isn’t exactly right…Without realizing it I’m grieving deeply…I’m grieving the loss of my routine…I’m grieving the loss of my work…I’m grieving the loss of freedom of movement…I’m grieving the loss of physical touch…I’m grieving the loss of being able to stand next to someone…I’m grieving the loss of certainty…I’m grieving the loss of future celebrations…I’m grieving the loss of travel…I’m grieving the loss of normalcy…I’m grieving the loss of being able to do something spontaneously…I’m grieving the loss of having a plan…I’m grieving the loss of having my own personal space…I’m grieving the loss of being around people that I love…I give myself permission to hear this grief…I give myself permission to feel these emotions…Grief is only pointing out the things that are important that I have lost…I appreciate the fact that my system is trying to convey that information to me…I appreciate the fact that my system is letting me know that I’m missing things that are important…I’m aware that I’m missing things that are important…So can acknowledge that the grief has done its job…The grief has been heard…If the grief needs to stay a little longer, it’s allowed to do that as well…It’s good for me to recognize its presence…If the grief releases now and needs to come back in the future, it is allowed to do exactly that…It’s allowed to come and go as needed…In big and small ways…I give myself permission to acknowledge my grief…I give myself permission to feel my grief…I give myself permission to release my grief…There have been losses in my life…Things I value are being missed…It is appropriate for me to grieve the loss of those things. 

God’s love for me is unconditional…Which means it is just that…Love without condition…It isn’t something I have to earn…It isn’t something I have to deserve…It is my birthright…It’s what I am made for…In every moment of every day I am completely surrounded by and filled with that love…The presence of that love isn’t in question…What is in question is whether or not I’m going to accept that love…It is ever present…Even when I deny that love…Denying it for decades on in…It never leaves…Because it’s ever-present…Without condition…Without judgment…It is pure love…And I’ve been made for that love…There have been moments in my life when I actually believe that fact…Even if it was just for a fleeting moment…For just a split second…There is a part of me that might be buried way deep down…That knows it is true…That knows it is what I am created for…I made for that love…I am made for accepting that love…That love is always present…And I can accept it at any time I want…There is no judgement from that love for me…Even if I am not fully embracing that love…That love knows me fully…That love knows my struggle…That love knows why it is hard for me to accept it…It never leaves…It is ever-present…It is truly unconditional…It will always be there for me…Even if I don’t fully see it…Even if I don’t fully participate in it…It is there…Always, always, always…

There’s a part of me that feels afraid…Because if I let this love in, I have to open myself up completely…And that makes me vulnerable…When I am closed off part of me thinks that I am safe…But if that were the case, I would be pain-free because I have been closed off…The truth is that there are things in the world that can hurt me…They can hurt me physically…They can hurt me emotionally…And they can hurt me spiritually…Those hurts are possible in my life whether or not I choose to open myself to God’s love…So I might as well accept God’s love if there is going to be trouble…That love can be healing…It can be protecting…It can be encouraging…It can be inspiring…It can be nourishing…Opening myself up is scary…It feels like God will see all of the baggage I’m carrying…I feel like I need to heal all of my failings before I can step into God’s love…That is backwards…Because I can step into God’s love to help heal all of this…All of the burdens…All of the mistakes…Are already known…They are not hidden…God’s love wants nothing more than to be released…And wants to help in releasing all of my pain…I don’t need to hide my burdens or heal my burdens…In order to accept God’s love…God’s love helps me to accept myself and helps me to heal…I don’t need to heal first…God’s love is the healing balm…This is a process…And it’s OK that it’s a process…It would be lovely and perfect if all of this happened in a single moment…But it will happen at the rate that is healthy and helpful for me…I give myself permission to be patient with myself as I heal…As I release…As I allow God’s love in…Love is going nowhere…Love will not give conditions…It will always be unconditional…It will always be ever-present…I give myself permission to be gentle with myself…As I accept God’s love…And as I allow God’s unconditional love in.  

I know my emotions are just information…My emotional guidance system is communicating with me all of the time…My emotions are just my system letting me know how I’m interpreting what is going on around me…

My emotions are what shows up after I evaluate the situations I’m in…Emotions can feel big…Emotions can feel overwhelming…Sometimes my emotions can feel like too much…I know that if I don’t experience my emotions now, I will experience them sometime in the future…Bottling up my emotions just means I’m not dealing with them right now…I will have to deal with them at some point…

There’s a part of me that is afraid that if I feel my emotions deeply, my emotions will overcome me…It is afraid that my emotions will consume me…That my emotions will derail me…It is good that I recognize how my emotions impact me day to day…I also know that when I commit to my emotions fully I can understand what they’re trying to communicate…

I can understand if they are well informed…I can understand if they are proportionate…It is good for me to feel my emotions…I can then process my emotions…I can learn from my emotions…I can heal my experience…I can move on…I give myself permission to be gentle with my emotional state…

Knowing that it can be overwhelming…When I am easy with my emotions and when I am easy with myself…I can create the space for transformation…I create the space for healing…I give myself permission in a healthy way to commit to my emotions…When my emotions are heard it creates space for healing.

Right now I’m worried…This situation is outside of my control…There’s nothing specific I could do to impact the big picture…And as I’m engaging with a constant stream of information via social media and news outlets…I recognize more and more what is outside of my control…I recognize more and more how little control I actually have…It is scary when I don’t have control…Because it feels like my life is simply at the whim of the universe…Which means bad things can happen to me…And bad things can happen to my loved ones…There isn’t anything that I can do about that…And it’s a scary sensation…When I have control, it feels like I can do something…But even though I can’t do anything about the bigger picture right now…It doesn’t mean I lack control…I can still make thoughtful choices moment to moment…To help me to stay healthy…To help me to stay safe…To help me to be prepared…The reality is I’m not in control all the time…It just feels like I’m in control most of the time because things are going well…Right now I have as much control as I normally do…I’m just facing a problem I’m not used to facing…I have been safe for a long time when I wasn’t in control…It’s possible for me to be safe now when I’m not in control…I give myself permission to know I don’t have to watch the news all of the time…I give myself permission to know I don’t have to be inundated by so much information…I give myself permission to be thoughtful about all of the media I am consuming…I can stay informed without having to consume it all…I can stay informed without becoming obsessed…I know that when I’m consuming it all the time, it feeds my anxiety…Even when people are trying to share information in a thoughtful way can cause me to feel anxious…I give myself permission to control what I can control…I control the information I consume…I can control the environments I choose to be in…I can listen to my own body…I can make thoughtful choices to stay healthy now…I can make thoughtful choices to keep myself safe…I give myself permission to be easy right now…Knowing that I can remain calm and make thoughtful decisions without descending into panic…Knowing that I can make thoughtful decisions even when I’m not in total control. 

I recognize that I am capable and I do good work….I recognize that there are times when I put in a lot of effort…I recognize that there are times when I come up with creative solutions…I recognize that there are times when I fully engage with the work that I’m doing…And there’s a part of me that wants to be proud of that…There’s a part of me that wants to recognize my effort…There’s a part of me that wants to recognize my expertise…There’s a part of me that wants to recognize my experience…But there is another part of me that thinks that being proud is bad…Being proud as selfish…Being proud is the equivalent of saying I am better than others…Being proud means that I am stealing other people’s attention…I understand why I feel that way…Culturally we appreciate hard work…And humility is valued…Because that is the disposition of our culture…We’ve spent our whole lives being told that being proud is wrong…Being told that pride is being selfish…Being proud is self-indulgent…But that is not the case…Being proud of my effort is good…It helps me to stay motivated…It helps me to keep taking action…It allows me to be a positive model to others…And they can see what is possible…It allows me to demonstrate what I’m good at…So that others can ask me for help in the future…I give myself permission to be proud of my effort…I give myself permission to be proud of my accomplishments…Being proud is a natural and healthy human experience…I can be proud of my effort without being a jerk…I can be proud of my accomplishments without being an egomaniac…I can be proud of myself and still be a good person…There are things that I should be proud of and I give myself permission to experience that pride. 

I recognize that I’m feeling numb right now…I know there is something going on in my experience that I need to feel…And I know it would be healthy for me to feel my emotions…But there’s a part of me that is afraid that if I feel my emotions, it will be too much…It is afraid that engaging with my feels will be too painful…It’s afraid that I will be overwhelmed by the emotions…If I feel these emotions, it’s worried that I will be so consumed by them that it will wreck the moment…It is worried that the emotions will take over my day…Like breaking the dam of overpowering emotions…And once that dam is broken…All of the emotions will come rushing in and consume every part of my day…I appreciate that this part is trying to keep me safe…Because I don’t want to be overwhelmed by emotions…I don’t want to be consumed by my emotions…But it is possible for me to feel some of my emotions right now…Not to feel all of them…Not to be overwhelmed by them…But to be in touch with a small bit of them…By being in touch with a small amount…I’ll be able to clear that small amount…Creating space to feel a little more…So that I can begin to create space for me to heal and transform…Without being overrun by it all…I give myself permission to know it is safe for me to feel emotions…I give myself permission to do that right now…So I can be more present in this moment…Allowing healing and transformation. 

I recognize that I don’t have a lot of energy right now…I don’t have a lot of motivation…Or inspiration…And when I feel ambivalent like this it’s so hard to take action…Because there is no motivating factor to drive me on…I’m having to act on willpower and willpower alone…And sometimes that’s OK…But it’s no way to live…It’s not sustainable…It might work for a few minutes…But it not enough for the long term…It is possible that there is a part of me is afraid to have motivation…Because if I have motivation, I’m able to try…If I try, I might fail…And failure will be painful…I recognize that lacking motivation is a great way of avoiding failure…Because when I’m not motivated I’m not taking action…When I’m not taking action I can stay safe…I give myself permission to know it is OK to feel motivation…That it is safe to take action…And I give myself permission to pretend that I know what I want to do…I give myself permission to put on the costume of a motivated person…I know what it’s like to feel inspiration…If I pretend that I have inspiration then I will be able to connect with my inspiration…If I pretend to have energy, then I will be able to connect to that energy…In big and small ways it is appropriate for me to feel…In big and small ways it’s appropriate for me to feel motivated…In big and small ways it is safe for me to feel…Every moment that it is safe while I am feeling makes it easier for me to feel in the next moment…I am safe and I give myself permission to feel.