I want peace in the world…I want peace in my world…I want to recognize the connection I have with others…I want to be open to others connecting with me…I want to be an instrument of peace…And often when I am an instrument of peace it’s not through giant grand gestures…It’s not via over-the-top actions…It is in the peace that I create in my own life…It is in the peace that I create in my own family…Is the peace that I create with everyone I interact with every day…It is not always easy to show up in a way that promotes peace…It is not always easy to be charitable…It is not always easy to be open and giving…Is not always easy to practice peace…I give myself permission today to know that my simple loving acts are useful…My graceful acts make a difference…My gentle acts make a difference and are significant…They are meaningful actions…They do create peace…I want to be a peacemaker…I want to be an agent of peace…In big and in small ways…My simple actions and my small actions and my kind actions create ripples that have a larger impact…Help me to know peace…Help me to strive for peace…Help me to be peace in the world.

I recognize that making choices is hard…That most of the choices I’m making are not clear-cut…There is no obvious answer…There’s no obvious way forward…And because of this, I am of two minds…I can see the pros and cons to both sides…I can see the emotional benefit in the emotional struggle of both sides…Because of that it’s hard for me to make a choice…I don’t want to waste time…I don’t want to waste the energy…I don’t want to squander the possibilities…That is the reason why I’m stuck…I’m keeping myself safe by not making a choice…My system believes that if I don’t move forward, then I won’t waste time going the wrong way…I won’t waste energy making the wrong choice…The reality is that when I don’t make a choice, time is passing…When I don’t take action, opportunities are being squandered…Even though my system is trying to keep me safe by not making the wrong choice…It is trying to keep me safe by preventing me from moving forward in the wrong direction…It is OK for me to make a choice…It’s OK for that choice not to be perfect…It is OK that I don’t have all of the information when I’m making a choice…I give myself permission to know that I can make choices even when I have incomplete information…I give myself permission to make choices even when I am not certain about which choice to make…I make choices all the time with incomplete information…And that is OK…I give myself permission to make choices that are imperfect…Knowing that I can learn from those choices…Knowing that I can grow from those choices…It’s not about being perfect in every choice…It’s not about being perfect in every moment…I give myself permission to be easy with myself when I choose…Knowing it is about the sum total of all of my choices that contribute and create my happiness…I give myself permission to know that I can be imperfect and still create a great life…To be happy and healthy and to move forward in a way that I know I can be satisfied with…It is natural to be of two minds…I give myself permission to be easy with being of two minds…And to move forward in the way that makes the most sense for me…Even when each choice is not obvious…I can make choices that create a life that I want…Even in the imperfection of those choices. 

I love my family… I appreciate the members of my family…I only want what is best for them…I want them to be happy…I want them to thrive…Because they are my family…Just because someone is my family does not mean we have the same worldview…Doesn’t mean we believe the same things…It doesn’t mean we see situations in the same way…It doesn’t mean we understand our relationship in the same way…Because this is the case, it can cause tension in my family…It can cause friction in my relationships…There are even times in which my family members make choices that are destructive…Their choices can be destructive to our relationship…And they can be destructive to me…It is hard to be in a situation where I want what is best for my family and I don’t want to interact with some of my family members…Having direct contact with them makes my life harder…Sometimes having direct contact with them causes pain…There’s a part of me that feels like I’m failing if I try to push my family away…There’s a part of me that feels like I am a bad person for not wanting to spend time with my family…Just because they are my family it doesn’t mean that it is good for me to spend time with them…It doesn’t mean that it is good for me to engage with them…Wanting space is not bad…Wanting space is not a failing…Wanting space does not mean that I am a bad family member…It simply means I need to do what is right for me…It only means that I should be taking care of myself…In big and in small ways…I can want what is best for my family and at the same time want them to be a thousand miles away from me…I’m not a bad person for doing that…I’m not failing for feeling that…I can love someone and not want them to be around me…I can want what’s best for them and not interact with them…I need to take responsibility for myself and my life…I need to take responsibility for myself and my experience…It is OK for me to want to keep my family at a distance…Because if I am not taking responsibility for my well-being, nobody else is going to do that for me…It is OK for me to recognize that fact…I’m allowed to love my family and to love them from a distance.

There’s a part of me that sees my past…That sees my past choices…That sees my past commitments…It recognizes how many of them have gone wrong…It isn’t all of them…Or even most of them…But they are the ones that I remember…I can see the consequences of all these choices…I can see how they impacted me…And how they impacted others…I recognize that these choices are being re-lived right now…Because I’m not allowing myself to let go of them…I am afraid if I did let go of them, I will forget their lessons…I’m afraid that if I let go of them, I will repeat them…I’m afraid that if I let go of them, I won’t take responsibility for the consequences…I’m afraid that if I let go of them, I’m not taking responsibility for how I hurt others…It is possible for me to take responsibility for my choices and at the same time acknowledge that I don’t want to repeat them…I am willing to take responsibility…I’m willing to learn the lessons…Stating that I don’t want to repeat them again…Allowing myself to let go of the emotional pain…I keep re-living these moments…So I don’t forget…And to punish myself…For the poor choices that I’ve made…Many of the poor choices I only see as poor choices in hindsight with the benefit of new information…New information I could not have known when I made that poor choice…Because if I had known that information, I could have made a better choice than I did…So when I punish myself for those less informed choices…I’m not being gracious…I’m not being charitable…And I’m not being fair with myself…I am deserve to be fair with myself…I was made to be fair with myself…It is OK to hold myself to a high standard…But it is not fair to punish myself for something that I couldn’t have done better…If I had had more information in many of these circumstances, I would have made a radically different choice…I didn’t have that information…I didn’t know then what I know now…Punishing myself for making the best choice I could have made is not helpful…It is not compassionate…It is actually a penalty that hurts others around me because it gives me an unjust burden to carry around…That makes me less than who I am in this moment…For myself…And others…Not releasing this burden is a much greater are I’m penalizing myself for…I don’t deserve it now and those around me don’t deserve the penalty of me not letting this go. When I let it go I’m not saying I forget…When I let it go I’m not saying I shouldn’t take responsibility…I need to let it go…I am worthy of releasing it…Those around me deserve that I let it go…I don’t have to relive the pain…I don’t have to punish myself…To keep the lesson from this moment…To make better choices…For myself…As I continue to move forward…I give myself permission to forgive myself the poor choices that I have made…That I only see is for because of the new information that I have…Punishing myself and penalizing myself for what I didn’t and couldn’t have known would be poor choices is not helpful…For me, for others, for any part of the universe…Penalizing myself for that is penalizing myself and others…It’s punishing myself and others…In an unjust way…I give myself permission to forgive myself…I forgive myself…For doing the best that I could…Without all the information I needed…I give myself permission to forgive myself for unjustly punishing myself for these misinformed choices…They were nothing more than misinformed choices and I allow myself to move past them without guilt or shame.

Now is so difficult…There’s so much uncertainty in the world…My internal guidance can’t figure out what is coming next…My internal guidance is working overtime to keep me safe because it is dealing with the unpredictable…I really appreciate that it is trying to keep me safe…I appreciate that it’s willing to work so hard…And at the same time it is over-functioning…It’s like a piece of software running in the background on my computer that’s wasting resources and energy…And it means I am at a much lower resource state…I have less energy…I have less focus…It’s not because I’m doing something wrong…I am paying an energetic tax at the beginning of every single day…I’m starting at 80% of my regular resources…This isn’t because I’m doing it wrong…It’s because of the state of the world…And the worry that’s constantly running in the background…Because of this I give myself permission to lower my expectations of what I will achieve in one day…If I were feeling sick, I would be easier on my expectations…If I lost two hours in the middle of the day to deal with a technical problem, I would adjust my expectations…What I’m experiencing right now is no different…It is not my fault…I am not doing something wrong…It’s just the reality of the world right now…I give myself permission to reset my expectations…I also recognize that it’s really important that I pay attention to my system at the moment…That I listen very carefully to what it needs…I listen if it needs rest…I listen if it needs exercise…I listen to see if it needs particular nourishment…I listen to see if it is just exhausted…And not only am I going to listen more carefully…I’m going to respond to my system’s requests…I’m going to be gentle with myself as I tune into my needs…I’m going to be easy with myself as I understand what I actually need…I also recognize that some days I’m not going to have everything I need…Some days I’m just going to be off-kilter…Some days I won’t have the same amount of focus…I give myself permission to be easy with myself…I give myself permission to be gentle with my experience…To be kind to myself…And if I need to stop and reset again tomorrow, I give myself permission to do exactly that…Right now it is harder even when there isn’t an obvious struggle…I give myself permission to be gentle and patient with myself…To take each day as it comes…Managing it in big and small ways…Knowing it is OK not to be perfect.

I am worthy of being here…I’m worthy of taking up space…I’m worthy of existing…I’m worthy of being seen…I’m worthy of being here…I’m worthy of taking action…I’m worthy of creating a good life…I’m worthy of being recognized…I’m worthy of moving forward…I’m worthy of being seen…I’m worthy of taking up space…I’m worthy of being loved…I’m worthy of being recognized…I’m worthy to be here. 

I recognize that my fear is trying to help me…The fear that I’m feeling is helping me to identify danger…The fear that I’m feeling is trying to point out pitfalls…The fear that I’m feeling is trying to keep me safe…I appreciate that my system wants me to be safe…I appreciate that it doesn’t want me to be in danger…But in this particular instance the fear is over functioning…It is working way too hard…It is making it difficult for me to act…The fear is causing fight, flight, freeze, or fog inside me…Experiencing any of those makes it difficult for me to take action…There’s also a part of me that is afraid that if I let go of the fear, I will become too casual…That I’m going to become reckless…I’m going to become thoughtless…It is worried that the only reason that I am taking action is because of the fear that I’m feeling…In this situation feeling urgency is better than feeling fear…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me focused…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me safe…Feeling a sense of urgency will help to keep me on task…I give myself permission to move from a state of fear to one of urgency…Because when I feel urgency I’m able to take action…Without being stuck by the fear…I’m glad the fear is trying to keep me safe…But by keeping me stuck in fight, flight, freeze, or fog…It is holding me back from taking positive action, which is preventing me from being safe…It is much easier for me to take an action from a sense of urgency…It is safer for me to take action from a sense of urgency because I make better choices…I’m glad I want to be safe…Working from a sense of urgency is the easiest way for me to be safe. 

I’m in this moment because of all of the choices that came before it…Choices I made…Choices made by others I know intimately…Choices made by people I will never know…Here I am in this moment…Every choice that has preceded this moment by me and by others has created this moment…Has informed this moment…But those choices do not control this moment…In this moment and in every moment I have the opportunity to choose something different…I can choose to stay in the same place and follow the same patterns…Or I can choose something new…

Some choices will be much harder than others because of the weight and gravity of the choices I have made in the past…And even though previous choices influence the next choice…They do not control the next choice…They do not predetermine the next choice…What is much more important than the choices that led to this moment is the choice that I make next…How I choose to see myself…And how I choose to define my world…That is the most important…Some of the choices I want to make will be difficult because I will be fighting the habits of other choices…The habits of other beliefs…It’s much easier and more neurologically efficient to make the same choice again…That doesn’t mean it has to be the choice I make…My history is important…

The history of the people around me is important…It has shaped me to be who I am…It’s shaped my history…What I choose to be in the next moment is only informed by that…I am not imprisoned by my history…My history is not predestined…Regardless what has gone before, I can choose something new…And in the moment after that, I can choose something new…At any moment I can return to the old patterns…I can return to the old beliefs…And that is a choice I can make…It takes effort…It takes conscious work…

Trusting in something new…I was given that ability to choose something new because I’m worthy of that choice…I don’t learn that choice…I don’t have to deserve that choice…The ability to choose as my birthright…That is what I’ve been made for…At this moment I give myself permission to trust myself enough to make the next choice…That choice will give me feedback…That choice will give me insight…And that will allow me to know what I will choose next…It will inform what I will choose next…I choose to recognize that I am not defined by my past choices…Every choice I make is a new choice and a brand new opportunity.

I recognize the fact that I’m experiencing grief…Not a big grief right at the front of my mind…But lots of smaller grief…That’s hanging around in the background…Just under the surface…And it’s creating a nagging sensation that something isn’t exactly right…Without realizing it I’m grieving deeply…I’m grieving the loss of my routine…I’m grieving the loss of my work…I’m grieving the loss of freedom of movement…I’m grieving the loss of physical touch…I’m grieving the loss of being able to stand next to someone…I’m grieving the loss of certainty…I’m grieving the loss of future celebrations…I’m grieving the loss of travel…I’m grieving the loss of normalcy…I’m grieving the loss of being able to do something spontaneously…I’m grieving the loss of having a plan…I’m grieving the loss of having my own personal space…I’m grieving the loss of being around people that I love…I give myself permission to hear this grief…I give myself permission to feel these emotions…Grief is only pointing out the things that are important that I have lost…I appreciate the fact that my system is trying to convey that information to me…I appreciate the fact that my system is letting me know that I’m missing things that are important…I’m aware that I’m missing things that are important…So can acknowledge that the grief has done its job…The grief has been heard…If the grief needs to stay a little longer, it’s allowed to do that as well…It’s good for me to recognize its presence…If the grief releases now and needs to come back in the future, it is allowed to do exactly that…It’s allowed to come and go as needed…In big and small ways…I give myself permission to acknowledge my grief…I give myself permission to feel my grief…I give myself permission to release my grief…There have been losses in my life…Things I value are being missed…It is appropriate for me to grieve the loss of those things. 

God’s love for me is unconditional…Which means it is just that…Love without condition…It isn’t something I have to earn…It isn’t something I have to deserve…It is my birthright…It’s what I am made for…In every moment of every day I am completely surrounded by and filled with that love…The presence of that love isn’t in question…What is in question is whether or not I’m going to accept that love…It is ever present…Even when I deny that love…Denying it for decades on in…It never leaves…Because it’s ever-present…Without condition…Without judgment…It is pure love…And I’ve been made for that love…There have been moments in my life when I actually believe that fact…Even if it was just for a fleeting moment…For just a split second…There is a part of me that might be buried way deep down…That knows it is true…That knows it is what I am created for…I made for that love…I am made for accepting that love…That love is always present…And I can accept it at any time I want…There is no judgement from that love for me…Even if I am not fully embracing that love…That love knows me fully…That love knows my struggle…That love knows why it is hard for me to accept it…It never leaves…It is ever-present…It is truly unconditional…It will always be there for me…Even if I don’t fully see it…Even if I don’t fully participate in it…It is there…Always, always, always…

There’s a part of me that feels afraid…Because if I let this love in, I have to open myself up completely…And that makes me vulnerable…When I am closed off part of me thinks that I am safe…But if that were the case, I would be pain-free because I have been closed off…The truth is that there are things in the world that can hurt me…They can hurt me physically…They can hurt me emotionally…And they can hurt me spiritually…Those hurts are possible in my life whether or not I choose to open myself to God’s love…So I might as well accept God’s love if there is going to be trouble…That love can be healing…It can be protecting…It can be encouraging…It can be inspiring…It can be nourishing…Opening myself up is scary…It feels like God will see all of the baggage I’m carrying…I feel like I need to heal all of my failings before I can step into God’s love…That is backwards…Because I can step into God’s love to help heal all of this…All of the burdens…All of the mistakes…Are already known…They are not hidden…God’s love wants nothing more than to be released…And wants to help in releasing all of my pain…I don’t need to hide my burdens or heal my burdens…In order to accept God’s love…God’s love helps me to accept myself and helps me to heal…I don’t need to heal first…God’s love is the healing balm…This is a process…And it’s OK that it’s a process…It would be lovely and perfect if all of this happened in a single moment…But it will happen at the rate that is healthy and helpful for me…I give myself permission to be patient with myself as I heal…As I release…As I allow God’s love in…Love is going nowhere…Love will not give conditions…It will always be unconditional…It will always be ever-present…I give myself permission to be gentle with myself…As I accept God’s love…And as I allow God’s unconditional love in.